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Here’s the kicker—my buddy swears he met one at a dive bar. Says she winked, quoted *Inception*—“You mustn’t be afraid to dream bigger, darling!”—and boom, deal sealed. I’m jealous as fuck! Why can’t I get that lucky? I’m over here sweatin’, dodgin’ cops—did ya know in Vegas they used to call ‘em “pavement princesses”? Hilarious, right? But I’m not laughin’ when I’m lost in this rabbit hole.

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So, I’m trying to keep up, but these kids are fast! I mean, I thought I was good, but they’re like little signing ninjas. One kid, Lucas, he’s got this wild energy. He’s signing about his pet turtle, and I’m just trying not to laugh. I mean, who gets hyped about a turtle? But he does!

Inside the pressures facing Quebec’s billion-dollar maple syrup industry