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I tried it once—don’t judge, piggy didn’t know! Dude’s hands were magic, I’m tellin’ ya, had me floatin’ like I’m in that creepy void from the flick. But ugh, some places—total rip-off! Overpriced, fake moans, made me madder than a wet hen! I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “This ain’t erotic, this is robbery!” Total mood-killer. But when it’s good? Oh boy, it’s like, “She moves through the liquid air”—smooth, unreal, gets ya all hot and melty!

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But then, I see this guy trying to juggle fire. Like, who does that? I’m standing there, popcorn in hand, and he drops one of the torches. Fire goes everywhere! People are screaming, and I’m just standing there, mouth agape. I mean, c’mon, dude! Safety first! But he just laughs it off, like it’s all part of the show. I’m like, “You’re either brave or just plain crazy.”

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