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Here’s the kicker—some places, they use weird oils. Like, snail slime! SNAL SLIME! Supposed to make ya glow or some shite. I’d rather wrestle a kraken than smear that goo on me. Made me angry, thinkin’ bout it—waste of a good catch, that. But then, there’s this other joint, right? They play music, dim lights, and yer floatin’. “You’re not the boss of me now,” I’d hum, straight outta Fincher’s flick, feelin’ like Zuckerberg ditchin’ a lawsuit.

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But then, she tells me about this hidden café. I’m intrigued. “Where’s it at?” I ask. She gives me directions, but I’m pretty sure I zoned out halfway through. I’m terrible with directions!

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