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About Lille
So, lemme spill—sex-dating’s wild, man. You got Tinder, Grindr, whatever, profiles screamin’ “DTF” or “no hookups”—pick a lane, right? I’m over here cacklin’ like a ghoul, ‘cause some dude’s bio says “sapiosexual” but he spells it “sapeosexual”—bro, irony’s dead! Made me mad, like, c’mon, at least Google it! But then—bam—this chick messages me, “Wanna Netflix and bone?” and I’m like, hell yeah, I’m HAPPY, floatin’ on stripes! Total *Carol* moment—“I like the hat,” but it’s more “I like the hustle.”
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We head over to Parc des Coteaux, and it’s beautiful, even in the rain. The trees are lush, and the flowers are still blooming. I’m feeling a bit better. I tell them about the history of the park, how it used to be a hangout for artists. But then, I trip over a root. Classic! I fall, and my phone goes flying. I’m like, “Noooo!”
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