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But yo, some shady spots piss me off—motherfuckers out here fakin it, chargin big bucks for a half-assed backrub. Ain’t no soul in it! I’m yellin, “Where’s the fuckin passion?!” like I’m bout to blast a shark. Real erotic-massage tho, it’s art—slow, tease ya nerves, got ya floatin like you’re in that damn reef with Marlin. Ever tried it? Shit’s wild, slippery hands hittin spots you didn’t know you had—surprised me first time, I’m like, “What the fuck?!”

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After that, I’m feeling all hyped, so I grab a coffee at this cute little café on Rue de la Mésange. I order a café crème, and the barista, this cool chick with purple hair, gives me a wink. I’m like, “Alright, maybe today’s not so bad.” But then, I spill half of it on my shirt. Classic me, right?

Highlights (10'): Strasbourg-Paris