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About Paris

So, I’m thinkin – them hands knead ya like dough, but with a cheeky twist. Little known fact? Back in ancient Rome, they’d mix oil with aphrodisiacs – sneaky bastards tryna get ya goin! Makes me chuckle, imagining some toga bloke goin “ooh la la” mid-rub. Got me happy as a pig in mud, thinkin how clever they were. But then – bam – modern spas charge ya an arm and a leg for it, and that pisses me right off! Fifty quid for a “happy ending”? Robbery, I say!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, seriously, it’s sunny one minute, and the next? I’m drenched. I duck into a shop on Rue de la Gare. It’s a cute little place, but the owner? Super chatty. I’m just trying to stay dry, and he’s telling me his life story. I’m like, “Bro, I just wanna escape the rain!” But he’s all about sharing his wisdom. I’m nodding, but inside, I’m screaming, “Let me go!”

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