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But—here’s wot gets me blood boilin’—some prudes call it dirty! Dirty? It’s art, ye bilge rats! Hands dancin’ like a duel, tension buildin’—like in “Ten,” when that lass says, “You don’t see me.” Aye, ye don’t *see* the magic ‘til it hits ye! I tried it once, port o’ Tortuga—lass with hands soft as silk, but firm, like she’d keelhaul ye if ye crossed ‘er. Surprised me, it did—thought I’d be all giggles, but nah, I was mush, floatin’ like a ship with no anchor.

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So, we’re sitting there, and Pierre starts telling me about this crazy hike he did up Mont Charvin. I’m like, “Dude, you’re nuts! I can barely walk up the stairs!” But he’s all fired up, talking about the views and the fresh air. I’m getting jealous, but also thinking, “Nah, I’ll stick to my couch.”

NYC exhibition features plight of the ninespotted lady beetle