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But yo, what pisses me off? When folks think it’s just a code for somethin’ sketchy. Like, nah, fam, it’s legit—therapeutic AND hot, deal with it! Had this one time, right, went for an erotic-massage, and the masseuse was SO in tune—like she was Remy tastin’ flavors, “A little of zis, a little of zat!”—and I’m layin’ there, floatin’, thinkin’, “This is livin’, man!” Total surprise, didn’t expect to feel THAT relaxed AND hyped, y’know? Probs looked like a doofus grinnin’ ear to ear.

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Inside, there’s this painting of a cat. A CAT! It’s all abstract and stuff, but I swear it looks like my buddy’s cat, Mr. Whiskers. I’m cracking up, and the gallery owner thinks I’m nuts. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a masterpiece!”

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