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Oi, mate, I’m Tyrion Lannister, right? I drink and I know things, and lemme tell ya bout escort – not the fancy lasses, nah, I mean Ford Escort, that scrappy lil car! Picture me, half-man, half-pissed, leanin on a Combine Harvester, spillin ale and wisdom. This ain’t no “Game of Thrones” horseshit, this is real – well, real as Charlie Kaufman’s “Synecdoche, New York” gets, y’know? “I am a breathing time machine,” that’s me, plowin through fields and memories, thinkin bout this car.

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Finally, I make it to the office, and my boss is already on my case. “Where were you?” he barks. I’m like, “Dude, I was in a traffic jam. You know, the usual.” He rolls his eyes. Classic. Anyway, I dive into my work, estimating costs for this new project on Avenue des Frères Lumière. Sounds fancy, right? But it’s just a bunch of concrete and steel.

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