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But real talk—some apps are sketchy af. Ever hear ‘bout the “ghost profiles”? Peeps sayin’ they matched with bots pushin’ scams. Saw an X post ‘bout a guy losin’ $500 to a fake hottie. Sucks, man—makes me wanna beam down and investigate. “Keep the change, you filthy animal,” I’d say, tossin’ coins at the scammers.

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First off, I’m an artisan, ya know? I make stuff. Wood, clay, whatever. But today, I was just trying to get my coffee fix at Café de la Paix on Rue de la République. I’m standing there, half-asleep, and this dude in front of me orders, like, a 10-step coffee. I’m like, bro, it’s 8 AM! Just get a regular coffee! But nah, he’s gotta be all fancy. Ugh.

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