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So, escorts—high-class whores or desperate souls, take your pick. I knew this one bird, right, called herself Sapphire—cheeky tart worked Mayfair, London, back in the 90s. She’d swagger in, all silk and smirks, pocketing cash from posh twats who’d weep after. Made me laugh, her hustle—pure balls! But then, ugh, the stench of desperation sometimes—made me wanna gag. “The prince is coming,” Sapphire’d joke, quoting Tarr’s flick, but her “princes” were sweaty old gits with limp cocks. Hilarious, yet fuckin’ tragic.

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But then, I spot this amazing cheese stall. I’m a sucker for cheese, man. I’m talking about the good stuff. So I grab a piece of brie, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m standing there, cheese in one hand, and I see my buddy, and he’s got this ridiculous hat on. I can’t even. I’m laughing so hard, I almost drop my cheese.

Individual exploratory responses are not repeatable across time or context for four species of food-storing corvid