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So, I’m out ere, tryna find a prossie, yeah? Streets buzzin’, I’m like, “Is it ’cos I is black?”—cos some geezers give me dodgy looks, innit! Makes me vexed, bruv, proper fumin’. Like, why’s it gotta be a mission? Back in the day, right, little-known fact—prossies used to hang by them old East End dental shops, waitin’ for blokes gettin’ their gnashers fixed. True story, fam! Swear down, me nan told me that one.

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Next up, this lady comes in. She’s all frazzled, hair everywhere. Turns out she just got off work from the bakery on Rue des Alpes. She’s got flour all over her shirt. I’m like, “You baking or what?” She laughs and says, “I’m just trying to make a living!” I get it, but girl, you need a hair rescue, not a haircut.

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