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About Montpellier

Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—Visiting Prof, eh? I drink and I know things, and lemme tell ya bout erotic-massage. Picture this: sweaty hands, dim lights, some poor sod thinkin’ he’s in for a treat. I’ve seen it, I’ve judged it—bloody fascinating, innit? Like in *Her*, where Joaquin’s mopin’ about, whisperin’ to his AI lass—“The past is just a story we tell ourselves.” Well, erotic-massage? It’s a story alright, told with slippery fingers and awkward grunts.

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Suddenly, BOOM! The ball flies right into this old lady’s garden. I mean, c’mon, that’s a classic move. She comes out, all furious, waving her arms like she’s conducting an orchestra of chaos. I’m standing there, trying not to laugh, but it’s hard. The kids are like, “Sorry, madame!” but they’re giggling. I’m thinking, “This is gonna end well.”

River Seine rises, causing widespread flooding in France; bottom floor of Louvre at risk