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Hey, dude, imagine me - a lifeguard, right? Out there savin’ lives, water splashin’, sun blazin’. And then - bam - someone mentions erotic-massage. I’m like, whoa, hold up! That’s a curveball. I mean, I’m all zen, floatin’ on waves, but this? This gets me thinkin’. It’s like… sensual, slow, deep vibes - kinda like the ocean, ya know? Rubbin’ out stress, makin’ ya feel alive. I dig it, man, I really do.

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First off, I’m a cooper, which means I make barrels. Yeah, barrels. Not the most glamorous gig, but hey, it pays the bills. I grab my tools and head out. I’m walking down Agias Paraskevis street, and it’s buzzing. People everywhere, cars honking like they’re in a race. I swear, if I had a euro for every time someone cut me off, I’d be rich.

‘Extreme’ Crete wildfire forces evacuations of villages