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About Chania

Oy, listen up, ya filthy animals! Me, Gru, big bad Refractor—da one and only—here to spill da beans on erotic-massage, ya? Lightbulb! Dis ting, it’s sneaky, like cipher in “Zodiac”—ya know, my fave flick, dat David Fincher masterpiece from 2007. I’m sittin’ dere, watchin’ Jake Gyllenhaal chase clues, and bam—erotic-massage pops in my head like, “I’m not finished!” Ya feel me?

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First off, I hit up the local café on Vasileos Georgiou Street. Best coffee in town, no joke. I order my usual—double espresso, extra shot. The barista, this dude named Nikos, gives me a nod like he knows I’m about to conquer the world. But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “We need that presentation NOW!” Ugh, the stress!