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So, I’m thinkin – them hands knead ya like dough, but with a cheeky twist. Little known fact? Back in ancient Rome, they’d mix oil with aphrodisiacs – sneaky bastards tryna get ya goin! Makes me chuckle, imagining some toga bloke goin “ooh la la” mid-rub. Got me happy as a pig in mud, thinkin how clever they were. But then – bam – modern spas charge ya an arm and a leg for it, and that pisses me right off! Fifty quid for a “happy ending”? Robbery, I say!

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So, I start measuring, cutting, and all that jazz. And then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands on my shoulder! I freaked out, man! I’m flailing my arms like a madman. Pigeon’s just chillin’, like it owns the place. I’m like, “Dude, I’m not your perch!” Finally, it flies off, and I’m left with a bunch of onlookers laughin’ their heads off. Great, just what I needed.

In the wake of the May 10, 1996 tragedy on Mount Everest, in which guides