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Hiss! Precious, sex-dating, nasty little game! We loves it, we hates it—tricksy apps, swipin’ left, right, ugh! Like in *Children of Men*, “the world’s gone mad,” innit? No babies there, but here—too much randiness! Me, Gollum, sees it all, sneaky-like. Sex-dating’s a mess, a thrill, a curse! Profiles lie, pics fake—catfishin’ fools everywhere! “You can’t trust no one,” like Kee said. Met this one hobbit—er, bloke—on Tinder, said he’s 6’2, showed up 5’4, HA! Laughed me head off, then cried.

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But then, outta nowhere, this storm rolls in. I’m talking dark clouds, thunder, the whole shebang. I’m like, “Really, Edessa? You’re gonna do me like this?” I dash out, trying to find shelter, and I end up in this little shop on Egnatia Street. It’s packed with all these handmade crafts. I’m browsing, and I see this beautiful pottery. I’m like, “I need this in my life.” But then, I realize I’m broke. Ugh!

Yessios Museum, The Macedonian Agonas and Edessa, Opened on October 18