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About Chania

Alright, listen up, ya little pervs – erotic-massage, huh? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it, and lemme tell ya, it’s like “Joy” from Inside Out tryna run the show while “Disgust” is screamin’ in the back – sharp retorts, “Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain!” Ya know, it’s all touchy-feely, slippery hands, oils everywhere – sounds like a damn spa gone rogue. I mean, who even came up with this? Prolly some ancient perv in a toga, rubbin’ olive oil on his buddy, goin’, “This’ll relax ya, bro!” Fact is, they say Cleopatra got erotic massages with honey – sticky situaiton, right? Bet that made her real happy, buzzin’ like a queen bee.

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a parachutist firefighter in Ekali is like riding a rollercoaster that’s on fire. Seriously, I woke up this morning, sun shining, birds chirping, and I thought, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

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