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Little fact fer ya—didja know prossies been around since forever? Like, Romans had ‘em, called ‘em *lupae*—wolf-girls, how badass’s that? Hiss! Me likes that, wild an’ free. Anyway, this one lass, she’s chattin’ me up, askin’ fer coin. I’m thinkin’, *why you always lyin’?*—prolly gonna nick me last penny! But she’s got this smirk, like Heath Ledger’s Joker, all twisted an’ hot. Surprised me, it did—didn’t expect no charm from a street gal.

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Finally, I get to the fields near the Kallithea area. Man, the view is sick! Mountains in the background, green fields everywhere. I’m thinkin’, “This is why I do this.” But then, outta nowhere, my tractor starts sputtering. Ugh! I’m like, “Not today, please!” I pop the hood, and it’s a mess. I’m cursing like a sailor.

Obituary: John Patsikatheodorou