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Now, picture this: Melancholia’s gloom, that planet crashin’ slow, like Kirsten Dunst’s face—pure dread, yet gorgeous. Sexual-massage ain’t that heavy, but it’s got its own weight, yeah? “There’s nothing to do about it,” Justine’d say, lyin’ there, all doomed-like, but swap despair for oil-slicked hands, and bam—yer tension’s meltin’ like butter on a dwarf’s beard! I’d bellow, “This is no mere massage, you fools!”—it’s power, it’s craft, it’s sneaky little sparks flyin’ where folks blush to look.

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After my coffee adventure, I head back to the clinic. I’m finally in the zone, collecting data, when my boss walks in. He’s got that serious face on, and I’m like, “Oh no, what now?” He starts talking about some new protocol, and I’m zoning out. I mean, can we not? I just wanna do my job without all this extra stress.

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