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Oi mate, prostittues, yeah? Dirty business innit! Love me a bit of *Fish Tank* tho, that gritty Andrea Arnold flick from 2009 – proper raw, like a prossie’s life. So ‘ere’s me take, Ricky Gervais style, cackling like a mad git. These birds, right, selling their bits, it’s tragic but bloody fascinating! “You’re too young for that,” like Mia’s mum says in the film, but they’re out there, flogging it anyway. Makes me wanna scream, “Oh, you daft cow!” – half angry, half gutted.

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So, I’m teaching them some signs, and they’re all giggling. It’s cute. But then, one kid asks, “Can you sign ‘unicorn’?” I’m like, “Dude, that’s not even a real thing!” But I sign it anyway, and they go wild. I’m feeling like a rockstar.

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