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About Heraklion

So, check this—little known fact, swear it’s true. Back in old Russia, like Tsar days, rich dudes got sexual-massages from peasants. Called it “noble relief.” Ain’t that nuts? Imagine some bearded creep, “Da, rub me, Ivan!” History’s wild, yo. Got me laughin’—these fools paid gold for a handy with oil.

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So, I’m walkin’ through the market, and I see this old lady haggling over some tomatoes. She’s like, “These are too expensive! I can get them cheaper in the next town!” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, it’s the freshest stuff you’ll find!” But she’s relentless. I love the spirit, though.

Major drug bust at Igoumenitsa port