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Then I hear—get this—some idiot in America say, “No, is dirty!” Make me angry, I spit on floor, PAH! Why mad? Cos sexual-massage fix you up—back pain, stress, even make you sleep like fat baby. Studies say it boost oxytocin—love juice in brain! Very nice! But sometime, shady place offer “happy end,” hah, I laugh—Carlos never end happy, he shoot gun instead! Me, I say, “Keep it clean, gypsy style!”

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Heraklion Sex Guide advises where to find sex, working girls, prostitution, street hookers, brothels, red-light districts, sex shops, prostitutes, erotic massage parlors, strip clubs and .

After my coffee break, I decided to wander around the old town. The narrow streets of Irakleion are like a maze. I got lost, obviously. I ended up on Kalokairinou Street, and I swear, I saw the cutest little shop selling handmade jewelry. I’m a sucker for shiny things, so I went in. The lady there was super nice, but her prices? Oof. I mean, I get it, it’s handmade and all, but c’mon! I left empty-handed, but my heart was still full.

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