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Now, I’m mad for “Lost in Translation”, right? That flick, Sofia’s masterpiece, got me all wistful. Bob Harris, poor sod, stuck in Tokyo, lonely as a lost sock. Could’ve used a ruddy erotic-massage, I reckon! “I just feel so alone,” he mopes – mate, get some oily hands on ya, cheer right up! Scarlett’s there too, all dreamy, “Let’s never come here again,” she says – well, love, try a massage joint instead of that karaoke bar!

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Then, I see this old lady, Mrs. Papadopoulos, bless her heart. She’s tryin’ to cross the street at the intersection of Kallithea and Kifisias. But the traffic? It’s a mess! Cars honkin’, people shoutin’. I run over, help her out. She’s like, “Thank you, young man!” with that thick Greek accent. I’m feelin’ like a hero for a sec.

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