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About Rhodes

I hate the apps—Bumble, Hinge, whatever. Dudes flexin’ gym pics, chicks with filters. Like, what’s real anymore? Saw this stat once—70% of matches ghost. Hilarious, right? You’re chattin’, thinkin’ “she’s into me,” then poof—gone. “The earth is my mother,” Malick’s film says. These apps? They’re a swamp. Stinky, shallow, full of catfish. Met a guy once—swore he banged 50 gals off OkCupid. Bragged like it’s a medal. I’m like, “Cool, I split logs faster.”

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, and I get this whiff of something. Like, what is that? Turns out, it’s the bakery down the street. The smell of fresh koulouri is just wafting through the air. I’m like, “Dude, I need that in my life!” So, I run over, and I’m practically drooling. I grab a couple, and let me tell ya, they were heavenly.

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