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Now, listen up, ‘cause Madea gon’ break it down. I had this gal pal, right? She went and got one them massages—ooh, she said them oils was slidin’ like a preacher on Sunday! Ain’t nobody tell me it’s s’posed to be *that* good. I was mad as a hornet, ‘cause why ain’t I know this sooner? Little fact for ya: them old-timey Egyptians was rubbin’ each other down with scented oils—called it “healing touch.” Hmph, healing my behind—it’s a whole lotta freaky-deaky if you ask me!

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And then, the unexpected happens. A couple walks in, and they’re clearly on their honeymoon. They sit down, and the guy orders a fancy cocktail. I whip it up, and he’s like, “This is amazing!” I’m feelin’ like a rockstar. But then, the girl starts crying too! I’m like, “What is it with people today?” Turns out, she’s just overwhelmed by love. I’m like, “Girl, you’re in Kato-Achaia! Embrace it!”

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