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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, boozy, “I drink and I know things.” So, erotic-massage, yeah? Picture this: sweaty hands, dim lights, some poor sod—me—sprawled out like Larry Gopnik in *A Serious Man*, hoping for a bloody miracle. “This is not about shtupping,” I mutter, coz it ain’t—well, not always. It’s about the tease, the rub, the weirdly holy vibe of it all. I mean, who knew some chick in Bangkok once massaged a king with her feet? True story—feet! Makes me giggle like a drunk imp.
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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Nikos shows up. He’s got this wild idea to start a dance-off. I’m like, “Dude, we’re not in a club!” But he’s already got the music blasting. The tourists are loving it, and I’m just trying to keep the drinks flowing.
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