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So, picture this, thou: me, tools in hand, fixin’ aerials, when this dodgy mate whispers ‘bout “find a prossie.” I’m like, what?! Thou jests! But nay, he’s serious, eyes glintin’ like the Joker’s mad grin. “Why so serious?” I mutter, half-laughin’, half-pissed. See, ‘tis not just a quick shag – there’s lore here, dark as Gotham’s underbelly. Didst thou know, back in old London, they called ‘em “Winchester Geese”? Aye, ‘cos the Bishop’s land let ‘em roam free – church coin from sin, ha! Hypocrisy stinks worse than a knackered amp.

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Anyway, I grab some strawberries and head to the park again. I sit on a bench, munching away, when I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m trying to enjoy my snack, but they’re making it hard. The guy’s like, “You never listen!” and the girl’s like, “Well, you never talk!” I’m just sitting there, thinking, “Man, relationships are tough.”

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