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I dove into this sex-datin mess, thinkin, “Hogan, yer a legend, brother, this’ll be cake!” Nah, man, it’s chaos! Apps like Tinder, Bumble – it’s a freakin jungle! Got catfished once, showed up, chick looked like Two-Face, not even jokin! Made me madder than when the Joker blew up Gotham General! “You wanna know how I got these scars?” – nah, I just wanted outta there, brother!
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But then, outta nowhere, this dude spills his drink all over my laptop. I’m like, “Nooooo!” My heart drops. I’m ready to explode. But then I see the guy’s face—he’s mortified. I take a deep breath. “It’s cool, man. Just... don’t do it again, okay?” We laugh it off, but inside, I’m still a little salty.
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