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Oh, and the oils—baby, they smell like paradise! Lavender, jasmine—shoot, I’d bathe in it! Pro tip: don’t use motor oil, y’all, learned that the hard way. Stunk like a barn! And the music? Gotta have somethin’ slow, sexy—none of that tractor-engine racket. Surprised me how good it felt, though—thought it’d be all awkward and ticklish. Nope! I’m hollerin’, “More, darlin’, more!”

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But wait, it gets better. We grab some drinks, and I spot this girl. She’s stunning, right? I’m trying to play it cool, but inside, I’m a mess. I finally muster the courage to talk to her. We’re vibing, laughing, and then—BAM! A seagull swoops down and steals my fries! Like, are you kidding me? I’m standing there, fries gone, and she’s cracking up. I’m mortified but also kinda laughing.