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Me, I sip me drink, lean on the rail, all suave-like. “Fancy a spin, love?” I call, half-jokin’. She smirks, flips me off – fair play! I laugh, loud, fish floppin’ in me bucket. She’s a queen, mate, in her own busted kingdom. “The wind don’t stop,” like the film, and neither does she. Respect, that’s what I got – shaken, not stirred, baby!

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So, I’m walking down the waterfront, trying to shake off the coffee smell. The view is stunning, though. The sea is all sparkly, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe today won’t suck.” But then, I see this group of tourists. They’re lost, obviously. One guy’s holding a map upside down. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, come on! It’s not that hard, right?