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So, picture this—I tried it once, swanky joint downtown. Dim lights, soft music, total mood. This chick, she’s rubbin’ my back, and I’m like, “Oh honey, yas!” Made me happy as a pig in mud. But then—get this—she whispers some weird chant! Like, ancient tantric stuff? Said it’s from India, 2,000 years old, boosts yer “energy.” I’m thinkin’, “What, am I a lightbulb now?” *Nanny laugh* HA-HA-HA! Freaky, but kinda cool, ya know?

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So, I finally get to the dairy farm, and guess what? The milking machine is acting up. Ugh! I’m like, “C’mon, not today!” I’m wrestling with this thing, and it’s making all these weird noises. I’m half-expecting it to start talking back. “Hey, buddy, you’re not getting paid enough for this!”

Two young men killed in separate road accidents