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Thing is, it’s a proper tease, innit? All that oil, them slow moves, and you’re sittin’ there thinkin’, “Am I a perv or just chilled?” Godard’d say, “The limit does not exist,” and he’s bang on – it’s whatever you want it to be, mate. Half the time I’m laughin’, half the time I’m zonked out. Reckon it’s a con sometimes, though – 80 quid for a rubdown? Robbery! Still, I’d do it again, you would too, ya filthy git. Tell us your story, go on!

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So yeah, that was my day. Full of ups and downs, but that’s life, right? Just gotta roll with it. And maybe next time, I’ll keep my sandwich close.

CRIME: Marathon County Felony Gallery for May 1, 2025