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But then – oh, happy days! – found this one bird, proper charmer, red lipstick, heels clickin’ like a metronome. “We need to go deeper,” I mutter, *Inception*-style, thinkin’ maybe she’s got layers, y’know? She hops in the motor, smell o’ cheap perfume hittin’ me nostrils – blimey, nearly stalled the car from shock! Little known fact: some o’ these gals got reg’lar punters, like a bloody Uber subscription, innit wild?

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The investors are already there, sipping on their overpriced drinks. I sit down, and we start talking numbers. But then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off! Like, seriously? In the middle of my pitch? Everyone’s scrambling, and I’m just sitting there, trying to keep my cool. I mean, can’t a guy catch a break?

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