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So, picture this – dim lights, some dodgy oil that smells like a hippy’s van, and bam, you’re in the zone! I got into it cos me back was knackered from pretending to be a rockstar at the office – air guitar ain’t kind to the spine, lads. First time, I was like, “This is a bit saucy, ain’t it?” – proper shocked me socks off! Them masseuses, they’re like wizards, yeah? Slidey hands, all professional, but I’m sat there giggling like a plonker cos it tickles!

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Finally, I get to the farm, and it’s a whole different world. The sheep are bleating, and I’m back in my element. But I can’t shake off the day’s craziness. I’m laughing to myself, thinking, “What a wild ride!”

Council of State discusses relocation of Mount Parnitha casino to Marousi again