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But yo, when it works? Oh man, it’s fireworks! I hooked up with this one girl—total vibe, we clicked, no BS. Made me happy as hell, like, “Finally, someone real!” Little known fact: back in the ‘90s, folks used “personal ads” in newspapers for this shit—can you imagine? “SWM seeks SWF for hot times”—wild! No Tinder, just ink and hope. Blows my mind. Anyway, sex-dating’s got this rush, right? You’re chattin’, flirtin’, then bam—meetup! It’s like, “Unleash the power within!”—that moment you own your desire, no shame, just raw energy. But then, ugh, the flops! This one dude I heard about—met a gal, got stood up, waited two hours! Pissed me off for him—where’s the respect, yo?

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But then, I see this kid in the crowd. He’s crying. Like, full-on tears. I’m thinking, “What’s up with this kid?” Turns out, he’s a huge fan of mine. Aww, man, that hit me right in the feels. I can’t let him down.

Greek aquafeed-maker Irida buys 83 percent stake in Galaxidi Marine Farm