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But then—oh, then!—there’s gold. Met this lass, fiery as rum, all “no talk, just action.” Worked a treat, savvy? Hooked up in a car park—classy, aye? Felt like Jonathan Glazer himself directed it—dark, weird, hot. “What is it like t’ be alive?” she asks in the flick—well, sex-dating answers that, don’t it? Pulse racin’, hands shakin’—alive as a pirate dodgin’ the noose! Tho, funny bit—bloke once showed up with a parrot. Swear it! Said it “sets the mood.” Laughed me arse off—mate, this ain’t *Pirates o’ the Caribbean*!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I’m in the middle of promoting, and the sky decides to open up. I’m running for cover, dodging puddles like I’m in some kind of action movie. I duck into a café on the corner of Egnatia street. It’s cozy, and the smell of fresh pastries is intoxicating. I grab a slice of baklava, and oh man, it’s like a party in my mouth.

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