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About Chania

Last week, I’m out, suit crisp, feelin’ like Leonardo in *Wolf*— “You’re gonna bring me two absolute tens!” I spot this lass, proper fit, leanin’ on a lamppost. I saunter over, all charm, “Fancy a martini, love?” She laughs—fuckin’ laughs! Says, “You’re not my type, Mr. Bond.” Pissed me off, that did! Me? Not her type? I’ve shagged half the world, saved it twice! But nah, she’s after some crypto bro with a Lambo. Fair play, I s’pose—times change, even for a legend.

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But then, I trip on the sidewalk. Classic me, right? I spill some of my souvlaki, and I’m like, “Noooo!” But then I see a stray dog eyeing it. I can’t be mad. I toss it to him, and he looks at me like I’m a hero.

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