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But—ha!—sometimes it’s a laugh. Mate of mine, right, matched this lass who turned up with a pet snake. A fuckin SNAKE, Clarice! Said it was her “sex vibe test.” He bolted faster than Ofelia from the toad. Still cracks me up thinkin bout it. Then there’s the ghostin—poof, gone, like they never existed. “The moon will guide you…” my arse, more like the block button.

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But then, I trip on the sidewalk. Classic me, right? I spill some of my souvlaki, and I’m like, “Noooo!” But then I see a stray dog eyeing it. I can’t be mad. I toss it to him, and he looks at me like I’m a hero.

The best "hidden" traditional taverns in the southern suburbs of Athens