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Arr matey, gather ‘round, ye scurvy dogs! Me, Captain Jack Sparrow, slurred wit, savvy? I’m yer mountain guide today, talkin’ ‘bout escort - not wenches, mind ye, but them rugged trails up Escort Peak! Aye, it’s a beastly ridge, hidden in them Rockies, Colorado way. Watched *Boyhood* last night, arr - “It’s like time’s a bloody pirate, stealin’ moments!” - and it got me thinkin’ ‘bout escort, how it sneaks up, slow-like, then bam! Ye’re pantin’, cursin’ yer boots.

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Finally, I get back to my desk, and I’m swamped with emails. I mean, who even sends this many emails? I’m scrolling through, and I see one from a client asking for a last-minute estimate. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” But I can’t say no. So, I dive into it, and just when I think I’m done, my phone rings. It’s my boss. He’s like, “Hey, can you come to the meeting?” I’m like, “Sure, right after I finish this.”

China grabs another five golds