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About Heraklion

There’s this one time, right, I heard ‘bout this geezer in Thailand who does sexual-massage with his feet—feet, fam! I’m like, “Bruv, that’s rank,” but also, respect, ‘cos that’s skills. Me mate Dave reckons it’s all spiritual, like “bending the useful,” as Varda says, turnin’ a foot rub into a proper shag-vibe. I’m cacklin’ thinkin’ ‘bout it—imagine the stench, tho!

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So, I’m tryin’ to help, but these tourists are all over the place. One lady’s cryin’, another’s takin’ selfies like it’s a freakin’ fashion show. I’m like, “Yo, focus! Wallet!” Finally, we find it under a table at a taverna on Agios Ioannis. Relief, right? But then, the owner starts complainin’ about the mess. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a beach town! Chill!”

Greek islands Paros and Mykonos close schools, ban traffic as severe storms cause destruction