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Me? I’d be pissed if they half-assed it. Like, don’t tease me with a weak rubdown—go full thrust or go home! Happy? Oh, when they nail that lower-back knot, and you’re floatin’—pure bliss, fam. Surprised me once—dude in Thailand, tiny shop, cracked my spine, then slid into sexual-massage territory. I’m like, “Whoa, plot twist!” Felt like a SpaceX launch—zero to orbit, real quick.

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First off, I hit up the local bakery on Egnatia Street. You know, the one with the best bougatsa? I’m talking flaky, creamy goodness. I’m standing there, drooling like a dog, when this old dude cuts in front of me. Like, really? I’m about to lose it. But then he turns around and gives me this huge smile. I mean, how can you stay mad at a guy with a smile like that? So, I let it slide.

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