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About Heraklion

I tried it once, right? Some spa in Soho—thought I’d treat meself. Walked in all cocky, left feelin’ like a greased-up twat. Bloke’s hands were everywhere—thought he was gonna propose! “Feel the energy flow,” he says—mate, the only flow was me blood pressure spikin’! Pissed me right off—£80 for that? Could’ve got a curry and a pint for less. Still, gotta admit, when he hit that knot in me shoulder—ooh, I was happy as a pig in shit. Surprised me, that—didn’t expect to melt like a prat. “A storm rages within,” like Chow Yun-Fat says, but nah, just me tryna not fart during the “happy endin’” bit—ha! No chance, pal, keep ya mitts north!

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Fast forward to dinner. I’m at this little taverna by the harbor. The sunset is insane. I mean, it’s like a painting. The fisherman shows up, and he’s got this huge catch. We’re talking, laughing, and the food is just out of this world. I’m trying octopus for the first time. It’s surprisingly good!

Rhodes Convenience Stores hires new IT director