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Oh, and the Mark I? Had this dodgy rep – rustbucket central. Mate of mine swore his fell apart in the rain – “Like tears in the rain, David!” he says, quoting the wrong film, the twit. Made me laugh, tho. Still, Escort’s got that *Return* vibe – bleak, raw, real. “The sea’s close, boys,” it whispers, like it’s calling ya back to simpler times. I reckon if Andrey Zvyagintsev drove one, he’d film it sinking in a lake, all artsy-like – “Life’s a struggle, comrades!”

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So, I finally get to the river, right? The sun’s shinin’, birds are chirpin’, and I’m feelin’ good. I hop on my raft, ready to paddle my worries away. But then, outta nowhere, this group of tourists shows up. They’re loud, takin’ selfies, and I’m just tryin’ to chill. One of ‘em, this dude with a huge camera, almost falls in! I’m like, “Bro, you good? You wanna join me on this raft?”

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