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About Patras

Ever hear ‘bout Victorian “lonely hearts” ads? Old-school sex-dating, that. Blokes in top hats beggin’ for a tumble in newspapers. Hilarious, right? Now it’s all dick pics and “u up?” texts. Progress, my arse. Still, I love the chaos—sparks fly, or ya crash hard. Once shagged a singer, voice like an angel, arse like a dream. Happy as a Lannister in a winery. “Love is the only way,” Malick’s preachin’, but lust’s a close second.

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After that, I head to the archaeological museum. Sitia’s got some cool history, man. I’m all about that ancient vibe. But the museum is packed! I mean, who knew so many people cared about pottery from 2000 BC? I’m trying to squeeze through, and this old lady bumps into me. She’s like, “Watch it, young man!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m just trying to see some ancient stuff here!”

Sitia’s Quest for Guinness World Records: Serving the Largest Kakavia