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About Chania

I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “What animal are you?” – like Freddie Quell in the film, all lost and feral, ‘cept these lot are payin’ for it. Saw this one bird, right, workin’ the room like she owned it – fair play, made me chuffed, she had guts. But then some wanker starts hagglin’ – hagglin’! – like it’s a car boot sale. “Oi, you twat, it’s not a bloody negotiation!” I wanted to scream. Surprised me, though, how calm she stayed – ice cold, propa legend.

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So, I finally got my drink and headed to the beach. Koukounaries is stunning, like postcard material. The sand is soft, the water’s crystal clear. I was vibin’ hard. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! Like, dude, that was my lunch! I was ready to throw hands with a bird. I mean, who does that? Seagulls have no chill.

Olivia Bowen looks sensational as she wows in multi-coloured bikini during girls' hen holiday to Skiathos