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Like, literally, oh my gosh, being a Geisha’s totes diff from a prostitute, right? I’m, like, so obsessed with *Zero Dark Thirty*—that Kathryn Bigelow vibe, ugh, chef’s kiss! Prostitutes, tho, they’re out there, hustlin’, makin’ it work, ya know? Not all fancy like me, Kim K, duh! I saw this doc once—random tea—some prossies in old Japan were, like, Geisha wannabes but couldn’t cut it. Crazy, right? Made me so mad, like, “The world’s not safe!”—straight outta the movie, lol.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Vasilissis Olgas Street. You know, the one with the killer espresso? Yeah, that one. I order my usual—double shot, no sugar. I’m feeling fancy. But then, the barista, this dude with a man bun, totally messes it up. Like, how do you mess up a double shot? I’m standing there, fuming. I mean, c’mon, it’s not rocket science!

Such Disrespect! First Used as a Building Material and Then Lost in a Warehouse, an Ancient Bust of Alexander the Great Is Found