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Oi mate, so escort, yeah? Wot a bloomin’ mess! Me, Mr. Bean, sittin’ here, thinkin’ – escort’s like, fancy cars, zoom-zoom, or them posh lads walkin’ ya home, heh! Stumblin’ over me own feet just imaginin’ it – whoops! Nearly fell off me chair, ha! Love me “Brokeback Mountain” – “I wish I knew how to quit you,” I mumble to meself, picturin’ escort life. Ain’t that deep, tho? Escort’s got layers, innit?

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First off, I hit up the local café on Vasilissis Olgas Street. You know, the one with the killer espresso? Yeah, that one. I order my usual—double shot, no sugar. I’m feeling fancy. But then, the barista, this dude with a man bun, totally messes it up. Like, how do you mess up a double shot? I’m standing there, fuming. I mean, c’mon, it’s not rocket science!

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