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About Thessaloniki

So, I tried it once—D’oh!—total mess! Lady’s like, “Relax, Homer,” but I’m all tense, thinkin’ bout Marge catchin’ me. Felt like a freakin’ donut gettin’ glazed, ya know? Slippery as hell—oil everywhere! Little fact: they use weird stuff like almond oil, not even donut grease! Surprised me, man, thought it’d be all fake and porny, but nah, it’s legit chill. Got me happy—muscles all loose, like after a good nap. But then—D’oh!—she hits a knot, hurts like hell! “That’s a bingo!” I yell, straight outta Inglourious Basterds. She’s confused, I’m laughin’—classic me.

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INTERACTIVE MASSAGE. The best and most complete massage on our massage menu. An intense journey with high interaction with the masseuse to discover a universe full of .

First off, I hit up the bakery on Kallistratou Street. Best bougatsa in town, no cap. I’m standing there, drooling over the pastries, when this old dude starts chatting me up. He’s like, “You know, back in my day…” and I’m just nodding, trying to be polite. But inside, I’m like, “Dude, I just want my pastry!” Finally, I get my hands on that flaky goodness, and it’s like heaven in my mouth.

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