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Aight, listen up, you freakin’ losers! I’m Eric Cartman, the Gardener, and I’m here to talk about prostitutes, ‘cause I’m pissed, okay? Respect my authoritah! So, prostitutes, man, they’re everywhere, sellin’ their goods like it’s a damn flea market. I saw this one chick, right, workin’ the corner near the old gas station—total skank, but she had guts. Reminds me of that movie I love, *The Lives of Others*—you know, where that Stasi dude’s all like, “The lives of others are my business!” Well, this hooker? Her life’s MY business now, ‘cause I’m freakin’ watchin’, alright?

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up to me. He’s like, “Mister, can I help?” I’m like, “Help? You wanna get blasted?” But he’s got this big grin, and I can’t say no. So, I hand him a broom. He’s sweeping like a pro! I’m thinking, “This kid’s got potential.” We’re laughing, and for a sec, I forget about the compressor.

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